Dr. Monica Jackman is an occupational therapist and mother of four. She holds a Bachelor of Science degree and a Master of Health Science degree from the University of Florida and a Doctorate in Occupational Therapy from Chatham University. Monica has authored research papers and book chapters on topics including mindful engagement, the mindful engagement support model, occupational therapy in mental health, and teaching mindfulness to children, and has developed and implemented mindfulness-based training programs for caregivers, preschoolers, and school-aged children. She is the creator of the Mindful Engagement Support Model of Treatment, the OpenMind Preschool and Kindergarten Program, co-author of the OpenMind Elementary and Middle School Program, and the author of the book Mindfulness for Preschool and Kindergarten, published by New Harbinger in August 2022. She has lectured nationally and internationally on mindfulness and social emotional learning interventions for children and adults. You can find her on Instagram at openmindwithdrmonica
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THE HIDDEN FACTORS BEHIND LAZY
Before you use "lazy" to describe someone, understand there are likely hidden factors that are impacting their ability to do the work in front of them. Here are 5 ways you can embrace an attitude of curiosity and compassion by looking beneath the surface.
Today is Labor Day, a day that historically symbolizes both our fight for fair working conditions and the recognition that too much work is detrimental to our health. And yet, we live in a culture that values constant doing and achievement, so much so that when people fall short of work, production and achievement expectations, we often label them as “lazy”.
Working as a school-based therapist, I have heard adults call children “lazy” countless times, and whenever I hear this word, I cringe. Lazy is defined as, “unwilling to work or use energy”. Most often, I’ve heard this word used to describe people with learning disabilities, attention deficit disorders, sensory and motor difficulties, chronic illness and mental illness. Especially kids, who may not be meeting expectations due to what looks like a lack of effort, but goes so much deeper.
In most instances, the people who may appear “lazy” are actually working harder than we can imagine to overcome invisible obstacles. Instead of lazy, they may be exhausted, demoralized, or overwhelmed because the task demands exceed their abilities. Instead of unwilling to use energy, they may be completely out of energy. You may see the tip of the iceberg but not the huge ice mass below, weighing them down, that they carry every day. You may see a head above water but not the frantic paddling underneath to keep from drowning, because they cannot reach the bottom.
When we call someone “lazy” we are making a judgment about their character, and their output; we are not considering their internal situation. We are making an assumption about their motivation, their intention, and their work ethic. Instead of calling someone lazy, consider that they may be dealing with the following challenges:
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The task they are not doing exceeds their abilitiesList Item 1
For example, school-based tasks are language-rich, and require frequent social interaction, attention, planning, filtering of internal and external stimuli, working memory, self-regulation of impulses and movement, and comprehension.
Many kids have language impairments, learning disabilities, social emotional learning delays, struggle with reading and writing, or have difficulties with attention, motor planning, coordination and self-awareness. In these cases, the unrelenting stream of tasks they face each day, that require integration of all of these skills that they may be missing, is overwhelming and can wear away at self-efficacy.
It can lead to demoralization, especially when these tasks extend beyond school into the home- in the form of homework. In these instances, you can help kids to identify which aspects of the task they are avoiding is difficult, and how to compromise or break down the task into smaller parts.
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They may not understand what they are supposed to be doing.List Item 2
Often times children (and adults!) do not engage in a task because they do not understand the task instructions, are confused about how to do it, or do not know how to start a task. This can be due to difficulties with comprehension, initiation, or learning style. I have had so many children tell me that they didn’t understand how to do a task, or were confused about the instructions, even after asking for clarification. Not only did they still feel confused, but they also felt embarrassed about asking for additional help. If you suspect that a child is confused about what they are supposed to be doing, ask them if they need a demonstration, an example, or would like to have it explained in a different way.
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They are not intrinsically motivated to engage in the tasks they are not doing.List Item 3
Most children are intrinsically motivated to succeed, to learn, to please adults, to follow rules. However, they are not always intrinsically motivated to do school-based work or tasks that exceed their abilities and do not align with their strengths and interests.
This is especially true for neurodiverse kids, for highly creative kids, and for children who are gifted in music, art, or sports. They may have high levels of intrinsic motivation for the tasks that reflect their interests and talents, but these tasks are typically not ones that are expected of children, even though play is the primary occupation of children! In addition, people may be experiencing low levels of intrinsic motivation due to a health condition such as depression.
When kids are not intrinsically motivated to do a task, you can work with them to identify which aspects of the task or related tasks have meaning for them, and adjust the task expectations to align more closely with their interests and strengths.
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They may be motivated, but are completely out of energy, or have too much energy.List Item 4
The demands of chronic pain and illness, navigating a neurotypical world with a neurodiverse mind and body, trying to focus and block out distractions while having an attention deficit disorder, and trying to catch up and bridge the gap of academic and language skill deficits can be exhausting and draining. Even when highly motivated to do a task, people may simply be out of money to pay attention, out of endurance or strength to meet the physical demands of the task, or out of fuel for problem-solving and task persistence. Or, a child may have too much energy to do seated or focused work, and may need to regulate their energy by engaging in movement-based tasks.
If a child seems to be out of energy, or has too much energy, you can work with them to identify sensory activities, exercises, and/or alternative environments that can help them to achieve a level of energy that supports task engagement. Or, you can adjust the task to match their current energy level.
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They are seeking the restorative effects of rest, to balance out the energy they are missing.
Research shows that when we are not actively involved in a task, when we are not actively taking in and processing information, we go into a default mode, called the default mode network (DMN). This default mode is characterized by mind wandering, and self-referential and social processing, and the benefits of the DMN include creative thinking, moral decision making, and problem-solving. However, the default mode can be metabolically expensive, and too much time in this state can be detrimental to our mental health, and lead to depression and rumination, or further attentional impairments. One way to help the brain to engage in rest and limit the effects of an overactive default mode is to engage in meditation and mindfulness practices.
So, when you see someone who appears to be “unwilling to work or use energy”, before using the word “lazy”, remember that there are most likely hidden factors that are impacting their ability to do the work in front of them. If you can embrace an attitude of curiosity and compassion, you can shift into problem-solving mode and help them to identify what they need to experience meaning and engagement.
About the Author
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